Undermoderated

This is what happens when shit gets unreal

Bitches Ain’t Sh*t But Ho’s and Tricks…

SO… there was this blog, and then two years happened. What? You don’t get busy, doing Facebook-y things?  Well, aren’t you incredibly p-u-r-e.

Anyhow, I’ve decided I have something else to say.  Stunner, I know. I’m about to send my oldest off to college, several states away.  While I’m excited about her opportunities, I am petrified about sending her even down the street, let alone to North Dakota. She is a bright, incredible, strong, thoughtful, and beautiful woman.

None of those things is adequate protection from a culture that views her as meat.  None of those things will allow her to look at a man and instantly recognize a rapist.

A couple weeks ago, the verdict of the Steubenville rape case was read.  This case, which made national news, shined a light on a pervasive culture of entitlement within a high school sports community. And where to high school athletes go? College.

Am I blaming athletes?  Absolutely not.  I am blaming a culture.  Follow me with this, for a moment.

  1. Boys are signed up for sports teams, as young as 4 years of age. Often, their parents see a spark of physical prowess (“Johnny jumps around on his toddler bed and crushes ALL his action figures… what a lineman he’ll be, some day!”) and dream of that prowess benefiting their son, in some way.
  2. Someone informs Mom and Dad that the REAL sports are played in the travel leagues, not in park and rec.  In order for Johnny to excel, he needs to be playing on a REAL team.  This involves a  crazy payout, generally totaling, between fees, equipment and travel expenses, at  least $1000 a season. And that’s conservative. BUT! If Johnny’s on an expensive team, Johnny MUST be an elite player! High schools will scout Johnny!
  3. At some point, probably before 5th grade, one or both of Johnny’s parents will have uttered the following statement “You need to do what your coach is telling you to do! We pay a lot of money for you to participate.  Suck it up, and be a team player.”
  4. Team has to be the focus.  Peer pressure and team bonding become intertwined. Fellow players parrot the coach’s critique, but off the field. If your team mate is stealing a candy bar, and tells Johnny to do it too, Johnny’s initial refusal may be met with “This is the same reason you’re not a starter.  You don’t want it enough. You need to be aggressive, and take what you want. Don’t wait for someone to give it to you.”
  5. By the time Johnny is in 6th grade, at least one coach (and possibly even Dad) will have equated poor sports performance with being gay, or being female. Regularly. A player who botches a play will be a “faggot”. A slower runner will be told he runs “like a girl”. Losing?  Losing’s for pussies.

SO… by the time Johnny’s a freshman in high school, he wants to do whatever the team does, because that’s not peer pressure, that’s TEAM! And if your team mate jumped off a bridge, hell yeah Johnny’s gonna jump too, because he’s not a pussy! Plus, all the girls love the team.  Way easier to get a girlfriend if you’re on a team.  Hell, the school holds pep rallies, to make sure everyone knows who you are, and that you’re IMPORTANT. When was the last time they held a pep rally for the robotics club?  That buncha pansies.

And if his team mate says he’s going to get some class mate girl slut drunk and take pictures while he molests her at a party, Johnny’s gonna get him some, too.  Because she’s not on the team.  She’s not equal. She doesn’t count.  Besides, Johnny has heard from his bros on the team that she totally wants it. She’s probably slept with all of them except him, already! And coach might say he’s a faggot, but he’s NOT a damned faggot, so he is going to prove it to that bitch.

Think it isn’t a real thing?  Mike Rice got fired from Rutgers’ basketball program today, because of some videos taken months ago.  The footage shows the coach berating his players, while kicking and pushing them.  Slapping them, and calling them faggots and bitches.  When the tapes were shown to Rutgers administration, the person who brought them to the AD’s attention was let go, for “insubordination”. And the coach got a 3 day sit down, to think about his behavior.  Then, well..  then business as usual.  Because fairies complain, and if you can’t play with the big guys, you’re a pussy.

Now… go be nice to all the ladies, would ya?

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2 responses to “Bitches Ain’t Sh*t But Ho’s and Tricks…

  1. Charen Fegard April 4, 2013 at 4:58 AM

    Thank goodness there are many good coaches out there who emphasize sportsmanship and accountability. Both my sons play organized sports and honor the “team” focus as well as sportsmanship…which can be a struggle when they play against dirty teams. You made very good points. I keep in mind that I am viewed as prey by a segment of the male population. Ironically, now is the safest it has ever been for women in the U.S. and other 1st world nations. Historically women have been voiceless chattel who needed a man to protect them from other men. Make sure your daughter knows the statistics on rape and how some predators ‘groom’ victims, how to avoid potentially dangerous situations and how to say “No!” loudly and clearly even when she has been smooching with a guy for a few minutes but doesn’t want more than that. Girls and women seem to have a hard time finding that voice. I’ve seen it many times, even experienced it. Finally, teach her to follow her gut feeling. If it warns her or feels ‘off’ about a guy or situation, don’t wait to understand exactly what it means…. get the heck outta there! That has literally saved my life.

    • lavandulagirl April 4, 2013 at 7:23 AM

      Agreed, Charen. We refer in our house to “using your monkey brain”, when we discuss the fight or flight instinct that humans tamp down in the modern brain. However, until the conversation changes from “teach our daughters how to avoid being raped” to “teach our sons that any forcible sexual action is wrong”, we aren’t being fair to our girls. What I am trying to convey, here, is that we teach that agression in so many aspects of our sons’ lives, and then expect them to understand how to properly use it. And we sexualize any failure they may have, by calling them “bitches” and “faggots”, and expect them to realize that they don’t need to prove that they are not.

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